It caused him to
realize that she was working upon her nerves, holding herself up to the
strain by the sheer strength of will. The papers the next day
commented upon this, hinting at nervousness, at exhilaration consequent
upon so notable a greeting. But Winston knew the cause better--he knew
the spectre which had so suddenly risen before her, turning her white
and frightened at the very moment of supreme triumph. There, in front
of them all, under the full glare of the lights, herself the very focus
of thousands of eyes, she had been compelled to fight down her heart,
and win a victory greater than that of the actress. In that instant
she had conquered herself, had trodden, smiling and confident, over the
awakened memories of the past.
After the curtain had fallen--fallen and lifted, again and again, to
permit of her standing in the glare, smiling happily, and kissing her
hands toward the enthusiastic multitude--he passed out with the others,
still partially dazed, his mind remaining undecided, irresolute.
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